I never committed to anything before the birth of my daughter. I was always a free spirit. I lived my life going with the flow and just kind of hoped things would work out for the best. They always did. After Mai was born, I learned what it means to have an obligated desire. That feeling of not onlyhaving to do something, butwanting to do it. For the first time in my life, I wanted to offer my all.
Music is something that’s always come naturally to me. I was born with melodies in my bones. I pick up instruments easily. Music is my first language, and it’s the one I speak most fluently. She is my first love, and she has always given to me without asking for anything in return. I never felt responsible to her until I learned what it meant to be responsible to another human. The love music has provided me is as natural as my daughter’s love, I never had to do anything to earn it. But now, I want to.
I want my daughter to see me excel at something, not just be good at it. In the last three years, I’ve reached a level of commitment that was once foreign. This commitment fills my cup. At this point, I’m so filled that I have to share. The music is pouring out of me. I realize on some level, my hesitation was partly due to fear. What if the music stopped speaking to me one day? What if I could no longer hear the melodies?
I’ve learned that fear and abundance can’t exist in the same space. Music will never stop speaking to me. Therefore, I’ll never stop speaking to you.
“May this song reach your heart.” - Janelle Monae
Searching for the sound.